Thursday, February 25, 2010
Pain how does it affect your eating?
So I no this is late but as they say better late then never and today will have 2 posts. Yesterday I did get out and move around. I did a little better on the food I had a peice of fish with some tarter sauce on it, for dinner I had a cup of hamburger helper and a small peice of garlic bread. I drank a lot of tea though and just wish I could get the umph to drink water. But just the tought of it grosses me out. Water tasts so gross since my by pass and I think it is mind over matter and since I know I am supposed to drink 64oz of it a day I find other liqueds just as good. I am going to try and cut out soda all togeather again. I had lost quiet a bit before when I cut it out. Is it not amazing that even what we drink can put weight on us. Oh yes I for got the pastashios that I ate today as well. Now today is going to be really busy as my mom and sister will be here so the house has to be cleaned from top to bottom. So do not know if I will get out and walk as I will be going up and down stairs a lot and I do not know how my knee's are going to hold out or my back for that matter, sleep is not coming to good for me as the pain in my back just keeps getting worse and worse the pain pills do not work any more. I guess it is time to go back to the Dr. again, I know surgry is not an option now until I have lost more weight. But the pain from the endo is getting worse so I know the hystorectomy will be soon. Oh I will be so glad that will be one less thing to have pain with. Pain at times gets to me and it makes me eat. If I am feeling pain in my stomach then the other pain goes away. Does any one else go through that? Cover one pain with another?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Well, I'm a cutter so I get the pain thing. But now I will admit that I find comfort in the discomfort of overeating. Something that should be unpleasant feels comforting.
ReplyDeleteAs far as pain interfering, I get really pissy about that kind of pain. I have plantar fasciitis and have recently been having severe lower back pain. It makes me really angry because I want to be able to work out when the mood strikes and I want to be able to do fun and easy workouts instead of having to try and alter workouts. I feel like, I'm trying to get better, trying to lose the weight, WHY does life go and make it even harder??
Would it help to remind yourself that eating when you're in pain is really just going to add to the pain through extra weight on joints and organs?
ReplyDeleteI've appreciated your blog and your willingness to really put yourself out there. It's gotten me thinking... what are the underlying issues that have me turning to food?
I know a lot of mine have come from not loving myself, being lonely or feeling unwanted. I fill my stomach to fill an inner emptiness that I should be filling with God's spirit, God's love and relationships with other people.
I really believe that the more we understand why we're doing what we're doing, and the more we turn to God to figure out how to stop doing it, the better the chance we have of really overcoming our addictions and weaknesses. I may not be where I want/need to be yet, but I have faith that God will get me there someday!! And I know He'll do the same for you too!
I have really thought about those things Patty. The funny thing is when you have a disorder as bad as I do when it is happing it is like getting high for me so I am just thinking about the high the pain for me is pleasure in a sence. I know that sounds really funny but that is what it is for me. I have been clean for 10 years as of Jan. 16th but the fact is I have not really been clean. I traided one drug for another just in this case food is leagal. I do not have to go to the dope man to get Krogers or Frishers is my dope man. When I am already feeling pain I just want to be out of my missouri. I do not want to think about the pain I really am in. I know I should be turning to God to help me and when I pray I get even anger because I failed again. I got that high one more time. I ask him where was he? Why did he let me do it again? I am at the point where I really want to go to a treatment center but I know I can pay for it. I am watching my kid turn into me. It just for her is taking longer. She tells me I am fat at 130 lbs I about barfed on her and told her she made me sick. I wish I was as skinny as her. But the truth of the matter is she has learned it from me. Really all of my kids have. That makes me sad too cause I do not want them to go through the things I have gone through or am going through. I know I can tell them do you want to be like me this is why you should not do the things you are doing. But they see it as if I do not eat then I will not be fat like my mom.
ReplyDeleteI wish you could go to a treatment facility, I've thought about it too. I don't want to get worse before I start getting better. It feels like exactly what I need.
ReplyDeleteI'm terrified about passing these things on to the kids. I try to be really open about weight. It's jut our bodies, it's not a moral issue. It's never okay to judge people by how they look. I don't complain about my weight in front of them. I talk openly about trying to eat better and exercise because it's good for me. Now that I am this heavy I've talked to them a little bit about losing weight so that I can feel better. The extra weight hurts my feet and my back. But it's never about trying to look better or about trying to strive for some ideal.
I hope it works but I know it's more important that I model healthy eating and activity.
What you might try asking God is "what am I supposed to be learning from this? Did I get any further on this try than the last one? How can I overcome this?"
ReplyDeleteRemember, God cannot and will not force you to do anything, which means He can't make you stop doing something even if it's harmful to you. He does, however, stay right there with you through every attempt you make at recovery. His hand is stretched out to you, waiting for you to grasp it and pull yourself up.
I have a copy of the addiction recovery program cd's, if you want to borrow them. I haven't listened to them yet, but it might help... (and it's a whole lot cheaper than a treatment facility!!) The church has an actual recovery group that meets also. You could talk to the Bishop about it.
Thanks Patty and yes I would love to listen to the CD's. I am going to ask your husband to set an app. for me so that I can talk to the Bishop. I really do need to get this under controll it seems like it keeps getting more and more out of controle. It all ties together and when you lie about one thing it ties into others.
ReplyDelete