Friday, February 26, 2010
Do you think how we eat affects how our kids eat?
So today was really rough. I missed therapy which means I am going to get kicked out cause I missed to many times. Go figure. But Kourtnie was having a crisis at school and I spent 2 hours up there dealing with her and her mess and totally forgot about therapy at 11. I was instead dealing with a kid that was in the middle of a melt down. So was I supposed to say hey Kourt sorry I have to go I have therapy stop your fit and I will be back in an hour? It does not work that way. They are looking at a admit for her because she is not eating, and she is harming herself. This week she has managed to put her head through the wall and have a few melt downs in school. So that brings me to today question. Do you all think that how we eat and the eating patterns we have affect our kids and how they eat? I really do think that it does. Katie will not eat cause she will get fat, same with Kourtnie. Kaleb is the only one that just does not eat cause he is to busy being a kid. Throw him a bowl of cereal or spaghetti and meat balls and he is good a microwave waffle or a pop tart and he is good to go. The girls tell me if we eat we will get fat. I know they do not want to be like me. But the sad truth is that is how I started out with my eating problems in the 4th grade. I would throw up after I ate so I would not get fat cause I thought I was at 10. I was 80 lbs and the height I am now. I in my mind thought I was the biggest thing that walked the face of the earth. For me it was hiding behind my pain of not having my parents in my life. I wanted to be like the other kids at school not living with my Aunt's mother in Law. My dad I can blame for that. So what do I tell them guess what guys I did the same things at your age and look at me now I am fat and I eat to make me feel good cause I do not know how to do it on my own. I do not know how to make me happy. I do not know how to tell people know I can help you, cause when I do I feel bad cause I know I could have helped them out. So it is just easier to help the out. Then I think what the heck did I do that for? You have to tell them know so you can tell yourself know. Not that it should be all the time I know it is good to help others do not get me wrong. I just need to help myself first. I feel I am not truly helping the person from my hart because I am not willing to help me get better.
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I'm really worried about Kourtnie, and hearing that Katie is not eating also is a bad sign. It might be time to meet with the Bishop and ask not only about the addiction recovery program but also lds social services.
ReplyDeleteIt might also be time to forgive your dad and quit blaming him for your circumstances growing up- it is what it is and you can't change it. BUT... you learned things from those experiences that can be used for good and you can be a better person because of them.
You are a beautiful daughter of God and He loves you and wants you to feel loved and happy. You may not have been blessed in the parent department here on earth, but your Heavenly Father is the best there is and has always been there for you, even when you haven't realized it. He wants you to let go of your pain now and let the Savior's atonement heal you of ALL your hurts, not just your sins.
Be diligent with the basics: scripture study, prayers, attending church. You would be amazed at how much closer they will bring you to Him if you just keep with it. You might also ask for a blessing...
Whatever you do, don't give up!!
Thank you Patty for the words of encouragement. I will see if I can talk to the bishop tomorrow or if he can see me Wed. durning scouts and YW. I do read my scriptures every day. It is a must in my house I do prey to heavenly fatherm going to church on Sundays is a big thing for me. That goes to exceptance. Some times I just feel like I do not belong. I feel out of place when I am there. I am really happy that I have found a friend in Pracilla. It makes me feel happy to know that there are people out there that struggle with the same things I struggle with or that my kids have things in common with their kids. Kourtnie she is another story. She has also found boys and that scares me so much. Because again it goes back to God please do not let her make the same mistakes I have made in my life. Let me be an example to her as to why she should stay off of this path she is going down right now.
ReplyDeleteFor years I felt like I didn't "belong" at church. I had to tell myself over and over that I was going for God, not for acceptance or friendship. I finally woke up one day and realized that if I wanted to "belong" then I had to be the one to reach out and work to fit into a group... and I was blessed to move into the Fairfield Ward because I've never met a group of women who are so willing to accept and love others just the way they are. There are many, many sisters just waiting to become friends to you. And they all have a lot more in common with you than you think, with many similar struggles and other struggles that even you and I wouldn't want to have to face. We've all got trials and hardships, but if we face them together with faith in God we WILL triumph!
ReplyDeleteHey Taffany! I'm praying for you guys. Let me know how things are going. I know there is a lot to deal with, but God is bigger than everything, as you already know. And, He can use all these things to bring out into the open the things your girls need to talk through. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of us as women feel out of place in so many places. And being overweight makes it 10x's harder. You see all these skinny little things walking around and you feel like "whay can't I be like that? Why do I gain weight even looking at food?" I know, I am think those things all the time. Then those thoughts lead into a downward spiral where I feel more and more alone and unloved.
ReplyDeleteBut, none of it is true. Weight, height, age..whatever it is we let get in our way in life, are really just stepping stones for us to overcome so that we can become the person our Heavenly Father knows we can be.
I have struggled forever with feeling like I don't have any friends and the truth in that matter is usually that I am the one pulling away, not them. I left my self doubt and hate get the best of me.
I am so glad that I have been able to connect with you on FB and in person. I am sorry I haver did it before now. I think you are an amazing woman and I love you no matter what. If you ever need to talk or want to hang out, I am there! Just give me a call. (or message me in FB)
Hang in there! You are such an inspiration to me.