Why does it have to be so complicated?

So life right now seems like it could not get more complicated then what it is. I wish that life could just be flowers and happiness all the time. But the reality of it is it can not be that way. I know that one day when I return home to Heavenly Father that it will be like that but untill then the reality of things is that life has it ups and downs. While for the last few weeks things have been great. I have some one in my life that is so awesome, but then yesterday things just went up side down for us. Not Alex, that just gets more and more complicated as days go by. I know I just need to put my feet down and make him leave. I had some one tell me so what today if he will get deported. I wish it was that easy why should I have to raise Kaleb on my own and be responsibal for him all on my own. Now mind you this person has no kids at all and God forbid if he did cause he has no clue or to me it says that he would not take care of his own kid. He has no clue what life is really like here on this side. I know what I am doing is wrong, I am still living with Alex and I have a boy friend. A friend that is so awesome. I can tell him any thing, there is no judging, when I am with him he makes me smile when I think of him I smile and I feel so happy, what am I supposed to with those feelings I have for this person put them on the back burner and act like they are not there? Ha Ha I wish it was that easy. This is a person I can see myself growning old with, that is something I have never felt with Alex. Why do things have to be so complicated? Why can life just not be peaches and cream when it comes to love? I even have the need to want to loose weight and be healthy. Never thought I could feel that way again.